Depression

Hidradenitis suppurativa may have considerable psychological impact with depression owing to chronic pain, malodorous discharge and soiling of clothing, and involvement of anogenital areas.

Unfortunately my bout with HS has caused some depression especially as of late. believe it or not I used to be a decent looking guy but the HS has really taken this from me as well as my confidence. I have always wished I would have my own family with a wife and kids but with HS it is impossible to date. My case is so severe and it even grosses me out. People with HS find it very difficult to go on dates, etc. I have no confidence at all. I would be thinking does it stink? Is it leaking. Every time I get up from a chair i have to look and make sure I did not stain it with my HS.

So life for me at this point is very difficult. Some people just do not understand they may think i am lazy or whatever but the pain from my HS justs hold me back. Literally getting into some cars, etc is nearly impossible with the pain. And as most HS sufferers do they do not even tell friends and family.ย  It is just to embarrassing. But now I am at the point where depression is so bad that I meed to get this off my chest. I know i am talking to the air here on the net and most likely no one will even see this post but i hope they do. I just wish someone anyone can understand the pain I am going through.

41 thoughts on “Depression

  1. I understand. I been goin thru this for a few years. Dr.s told me it was MRSA, lance it, give me antibiotics n send me home. Its too frequent to b mrsa. I feel ur pain, im goin thru it now. They go away n come back, sumtimes different spots. Sumtimes i have more than one at the same time, or in a cluster. Its debilitating and depressing n takes ur self confidence away. Ill pray for u, as i pray for me.

      1. I have been dealing with hidradenitis since there was no name for it ,which for me i was 12 when i first encountered one on my groin and i never felt so embarrassed in my life. so long story short . I am now 56 and i’m still dealing with the whole scenario of the pain embarrassment and most of all the depression that goes a long with it.
        I thought until i discovered this web site i thought i was like just a few people who has this awful disease i never knew there was so many like my self. good luck to you and all of you now i don’t feel so a lone ty for this web site

      2. Hi my name is riley and i am 16 years old. I have been falsely diagnosed with countless skin disorders since I was 9. Two years ago I officially got diagnosed with HS. My first area was between my breasts and tended to only flare once every other month, but starting last year it tends to be every week. I have found new spots in this past month pop up: one in my armpit and three on my groin. I have taken countless antibiotics and none have been beneficial. My chest has gotten so bad I am supposed to be getting the surgical procedure with a co2 laser. It will leave a much bigger scar but will hopefully stop future flare ups on my chest. I feel so alone in this and my mom just does not understand. I constantly have to take trips to get injections to stop the progression of flare ups. I am only 16 and have felt like I have dealt with this for so long and with too much pain. I just can’t imagine dealing with it for the rest of my life.

  2. hi, my name is claudine and i am 38. i have had HS for 22 years but only had a name for it for the last 4. I am currently on a high dose long term course of antibiotics after having emergency surgery 3 months ago which isnt healing. I have sites under both arms, both sides of my groin area, my sacrum and ive had it on both breasts. My god im depressed, i totally sympathize with you. I try to get my doctor to understand the extent of the effect this crappy disease has had on me and she can see to a certain point. they say it isnt a life threatening disease, therefore its low on the list of priorities. I say it is life threatening, as i have considered ending it more than once. i dont know how i am going to live the rest of my life like this, but i do know it’s my kids that keep me here, nothing else.

    1. Hello claudine, thank you so much for your comment it truly means a ton to me. I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like out situation is very similar. Please keep in touch and let me know how things progress.

  3. Hi, My name is Falaunte and i understand wat you are going through i have suffered with HS for 17 years i am 29 years old my armpits my scalp and groin. This disease is very depression and disabling but you have to try be very strong i found myself crying alot. I also developed scleritis, reactive arthiritis and srojens syndrome they are all connected with my HS. I was mis diagnosed wen I was younger in the 7th grade and i felt so alone the pain the smell yes its horrible my relationship was affected, not to mention the stress. After 9 small surgeries a host of antibioctics n steroid shots that wasnt a sucess Idecided to see a plastic surgeon for a very deep sucessful surgery in 2010 for my groin and my right under arm, surgery improved my life alot it was a great relief for me to be able to walk, run again sit without much pain i wud consider you try it if u can. Im still havin flare ups in other areas where I didnt have surgery. Please be strong and never give up you are not alone.!

    1. Hello and thank you for your comment. Can you please tell me more about your arthritis? I am experiencing this as well I think. I tell my dr’s they think im nuts.

  4. I know all to well your pain. I’ve been suffering with HS since I was 11, I am now 23. For 12 years I’ve had to deal with sites under both arms and sacrum. Puberty is hard enough let alone dealing with the shame of HS. Ive spent more than half my life feeling so dirty and ashamed of my body. What made it worse is that my family didn’t understand what it was and assumed I developed HS from being dirty. I never wanted to be around people and dating never seemed like a possibility. I know how it feels to worry about staining furniture or if someone is going to smell the discharge oozing form your body. Some days when the pain is intense I just curl up in a big ball and wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. However knowing that other people know my struggle and that some have had normal social lives, even families gives me comfort.

  5. i have hs real bad on the back of my neck and the smell is bad when it leaks i only had to have it lanced 3 times but im gonna be tring collidal silver i have all the stuff i made myself pretty much like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqVoXSspJ-I but i used a 12 adapter for the power supply and the back of a speaker to hold the wires but if u try it make sure its 99.99% u can turn blue if u use non pure silver im not saying its a cure but im gonna try it and keep you guys updated. wish me luck ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I understand and thank you so much for creating this blog. I’ve been an hs sufferer for 16 years. I often google hs and hope that ill find something new to try and maybe it will help, so far I’ve got nothing. I am sad, angry, frustrated and the list goes on. I have had 2 surgeries both were years ago and the areas around the scars are inflamed. I have this in my groin area, on my lower stomach, my waist, underneath my breast, on my breast, thighs, armpits and butt. I used to go to the surgeon and have them lanced when the pain was unbearable but now I just lance them myself with disposable blades ( not recommending this but i’m desperate and cant afford to go to the surgeon multiple times a week.)
    So everyone knows why im sad. It’s obvious. Actually its probably uncommon to find someone with hs who isn’t depressed. I’m angry because there isn’t a cure. Also, it’s a progressive disease so I feel like i’m just waiting for it to get worse, if that’s possible. Now i’m super frustrated. I am currently losing weight, down a hundred pounds but still have a hundred to go and I quit smoking 6 months ago. I haven’t had any relief, and now I feel like i’m losing it. They say stress makes it worse but I don’t know what to do. I eat healthy and quit smoking. Exercise is a nightmare. With every good workout I have 2 to 3 days of worsened pain. I feel like I may explode.
    I am actually on SSI disability for my hs and that alone makes me depressed. I’ll have a few good days in a row and by good days I mean days that I don’t have to take pain meds and I feel like a complete bum for getting the disability, I am only 31. Then boom ill get a really really bad one and not be able to sit or wear a bra and I feel completely “disabled.” It just sucks so bad. I just want to be completely pain free physically and psychologically. I don’t want to give up but every day is a struggle. I have some great friends and a great family but none of them truly know my pain. The worst part is knowing that it’s probably going to get worse and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. I am truly sorry for each and every one of you out there that has this awful disease. I hope everyone has a pain free night and thanks for letting me vent because I have to let it all out somehow!

    1. Hello and thank you so much for your comment. You are not alone. I am glad you found my blog and please feel free to vent anytime. Your comment truly means alot to me.

  7. Hi guys

    This really sucks and I know what you are all going through. I have had HS for about 20 years but have only recently found out what it is and mine has definitely got worse over the last 6 years. I am single and plan to stay that way as I would be too embarrassed to get intimate with the amount of scaring and constant stench and leaking wounds I have. My family and friends think I’m a bit weird and that I am lazy as I am constantly tired-I work a full-time job and that just takes it out of me most days. My doctor has dismissed my symptoms as mild but he doesn’t have to walk around with huge growths on his private parts does he? I have found that diet has a big effect on my flare-ups, as do hormones at certain times of the month and I am trying to work out a way to live with this crap we all face on a daily basis, but it has really knocked all confidence from me. It’s good to talk to people who understand what I’m going through so thanks for the opportunity to get things off my chest. Stay strong guys-we still have a lot to give-when we have the energy. Big love to you all x

  8. Hello! My name is Samantha and I am 23.I have had HS since I was 8 (found out official name of disease when I was 12). I have had to deal with this crap basically my whole life and it has been hell. Granted I am married with 2 kids, I still feel like a monster.
    My body is hideous. At least 2-3x a week I will break down crying because of how I look. I have them under both armpits, both groin areas, on the right side of my stomach (severly), on my butt, and on/under both breasts. I honestly can say that I must have hundreds of scars.
    I hate being naked in front of my own husband because I don’t like how I look. He tells me he doesn’t care what I look like, that he loves me with scars and all. He doesn’t understand the every day pain I have to deal with and have for years.
    I’m not skinny, i’m size18/20 (female) and 5’11. I am so embarrassed to wear any kind of cute sleeveless shirts because the second I lift my arms, you can see all the scars. Mine are so bad that you can literally feel the tunnels under my skin in some areas.
    The worst sore I’ve had this far is one on my breast that once it blew out had a hole the size of a penny. It was so smelly, so nasty and hurt so bad. I wished there was a cure for this disease. I have never met anyone else with this disease, so I’ve never really been able to discuss this with someone that understands.
    My husband is amazing at listening to me and helping me with this horrible issue, but he doesn’t truly understand how much I hurt and how bad I truly feel inside.
    thanks for listening ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it is not easy to talk about. I know exactly what you mean about the sleeveless shirts. Same with the tunneling it is the weirdest feeling. Thank you again so much for checking out my blog it means the world to me.

  9. I have had HS for 19 years..I am so down at the moment because of this..I have it all over my inner thighs,groin and under my breasts..I have tunnels everywhere..It looks and smells horrific..In 2 days I will be finished a 3 month course of antibiotics and they have done nothing..I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything and I just seem to cry all the time..I’m 34 and have no life because of this horrific disease..Thanks for listening x

  10. Hi my name is Brandon im 26. I have had the boils, black heads,leaking painfull sores from h*ll since I was 12. My whole teen and adult life has been miserable. My family has never know, as a result growing up my family would tell me I smell and that im dirty. My wife actully cheated on me and divorcied me because she couldnt handle my issue. I served in the military and took my shipmates verbal abuse for 11 months before I was discharged cause I tried to end it all. The discharge was honerable under medical. But I recived no benifits because they said it wasnt dibilitating. That was 2010. I found out this year what this is. Ive set a doctors visit for this week to see what I can do. It affects my waist, thighs, back, butt, and arm pits. From the research ive done I have stage 2 HS. Knowing a name for this is a help in its self. I used to be about 200lbs in good shape and athletic, im now 270lbs ar 5’9″ because its just gotten to painfull to workout. I cant hold a job because of this. Im really at a loss with where to go from here. I dont smoke, I eat healthy and have tried ever home remedy known to man. Im just worried my son whos 21 months old may develop this later on in life. Please if anyone has help email me schoenb038@hotmail.com

    1. Hello Brandon, thank you so much for your post. I truly appreciate you sharing this story. And please stay strong man and feel free to reach out to me anytime. We are all here for you. Contact me directly anytime as well.

    2. Brandon, I’ve had hs for over 15 years of my life…and I’m only 23. The doctors told me that HS is not genetic and cannot be transferred to anyone thru contact. It is your own disease, but you shouldn’t have to worry about your son! If you ever need someone to talk to about this, you can talk to me any time. My teenage years were pretty crappy from having HS.

  11. HI Im Kathleen am 41 and realized I had HS about a year ago, it is in stage 1 I think, but I have no medical insurance as of late, and haven’t seen a dr., I have hs on my groin, armpits, and now on the side of my greast, the sore wont heal, and I am in excruciating pain when I have to wear a bra… it wont go away, and the area is raw, I don’t know what to do… is there any advice you could give as to home remedies?

    1. Hello Kathleen thank you so much for sharing. Home remedies I use are minimal but I try everything. But warm baths or compresses do help. Last week I soaked 3 times a day and it actually helped a little bit. Also for me I wear very light clothes nothing heavy and I shower twice a day even if I do nothing. I only use my towels once then wash them in HOT water. I hope some of this may help. Please keep me updated.

  12. Thank you for your candor and bringing awareness to this awful disease. I hate what this disease has done to me, it is a thief! It has robbed millions of hs sufferers of so much! I hate not being able to wear cute clothes anymore, everything I wear now is baggy. I hate dealing with the constant staining of everything my skin touches. I hate the constant worry of leaks and smelling offensive. I have spent uber amounts of money on prescriptions and on natural modalities to try and find relief. I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone :/ Thank you for letting me vent.

  13. Hi I have been living with this nightmare for 18 years it has gradually developed into stage 3 and no matter what surgery I get they always come back. I have been so depressed for years and try and keep a brave face as no one understands what it’s like. My partner has been great and doesn’t care about the scars but I shut down emotionally and can’t bare for my partner to see me naked so I end up psychically shutting down also. Doctors have no clue how to fix this and I hate taking antibiotics as think I am immune to most of them. If they could just research it properly and help the next generation to not suffer like this most of their life’s it would be a little solace for everything we all go through. It’s the pain that kills me a little every time I have a flare up. When I take time off work I have to pretend I’m sick as to embarrassed to go into what the real problem is. It’s nice to find a place where I’m not alone and you guys get it. Just down at the moment as in the middle of a very painful flare up size of a tennis ball in my groin area so walking like a cow boy ๐Ÿ™‚ trying not to touch the area as super intense pain when this swollen. Does anyone have any tricks to help with the flare ups to ease the pain?

  14. Carlo and others,

    My HS has had a role in causing me to be diagnosed with PTSD, Severe Anxiety Disorder, and clinical Depression. Some days I wonder if I actually should have more diagnoses because I’ve completely became a recluse. This monster of a disease, and with new aliens forming religiously, has done an absolute number on my self-confidence. I will be seeing my Dermatologist soon for blood work to see if I’m a candidate for the highly expensive Humira treatments. Please keep me in your prayers and I’ll reciprocate the same.

    Thanks,

    Ms. B

  15. To each and every one of us:

    We are valuable! We are beautiful/handsome! We are normal! We have a disease! I have had HS since I was 12…I now have arthritis (rheumatoid) due to poor treatment by multiple doctors. I have a great physicians now but ther needs to be much more emphasis on this disease! I too have suffered shame, ridicule, embarrassment, etc due to HS and it just PISSES ME OFF to know that there are medications that can and do help us but insurance will not cover them until another autoimmune disease that the treat rears it’s ugly head…chrohns disease, SJOGRENS, rheumatoid arthritis, etc. DMARDS (disease modifying anti rheumatic meds like Humira, Remicade, Enbrel, Symponi combined with minocycline, methotrexate, and vitamin d and folic acid) will control HS! I know because I am on them! I have very very very very few flares now, and when I do they are minor. I also take Cymbalta (60mg) daily for referred pain for the RA but it is an antidepressant med. I am fortunate that I have great health insurance so these injections are affordable for me but THE MANUFACTURERS HAVE ORESCRIPTION ASSITANCE PROGRAMS THAT WILL COVER THEM! Sometimes they only cost $5 per month! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RESEARCH THESE MEDICATIONS AND DISCUSS THEM WITH YOUR DOCTORS! Big news….you can get relief. If your physician won’t listen to you….FIND SOMEONE ELSE…ultimately you are their employer. If you didn’t perform your job would you not get fired…I would start with a great dermatologist and then ask for a referral to a rheumatologist if you are having any joint pain. They can collaborate on your case…mine do and they practice 50 miles from each other! If they have never heard of treating HS with a DMARD ask them to read up on it! Also, steroids injected around they lesion just as they begin to form seriously help me with the pain because they reduce the inflammation. (I can always tell when a flare is coming in because the area where a new lesion is forming itches like crazy)

    P.s. After years of shame (my hubby even told me once that if he had seen my HS before we married he would have ended the relationship in fear and ignorance of what HS is) I am lesion free and my scars are so minimal that I have no shame in even wearing a swimsuit.

    P.s.p.s. At home treatment…try a tanning bed. I’m not talking about baking yourself, I mean 5 -10 mins per session several days per week. It always helped me.

    I hope this information helps and uplifts each of you!!!! Knowledge is power and damn good power at that! If someone had told me there was an effective way to control this disease before I had suffered for 26 years with it, I would have jumped all over it!

  16. I can imagine that it feels like you’re running out of time, but you simply have to keep enduring. It’s the only option you have!

  17. Hey mate I have this painful disease and have had it since 10 (currently 22) I am planning on getting rid of it once and for all because I can’t tolerate the pain anymore I have tried all sorts of anti biotics, healthy diets, drinking alot of water, cutting dairy, cutting gluten increasing vitamin uptake etc you name it and none of it worked. I later realised the true cause of hidradentis are the hair fociles. YES THEY ARE THE ROOT (HAIR FOCILES) CAUSE FOR HIDRADENTIS. I plan to get 2 treatments for this bloody disease, Hair removal and surgery I can’t see no other cure for this disease apart from these 2 treatments. I want to reach out to all other sufferers of this brutal disease and suggest they look into these 2 treatments, talk to the dermotoligists about them and go ahead with them.

    good luck to me and all the HS sufferers

  18. As a mother, I am heart broken and praying for you all and my son 27 who has been dealing with this problem starting back as a hair bump we thought since May 2013. I had no idea until this past year of how much pain he was in and actual seeing it rise up like a golf ball in his head. He recently passed out for not eating because he had lost his appetite. The ambulance picked him up for that and the doctor saw his head and diagnosed it to be HS. he stayed in the hospital with an Antibiotic IV drip for 4 days and his groin area cleared and his head started ooozing and drying up and was discharged on antibiotic and pain meds that he finished. He ran out of the antibiotic and the puss started coming back. I am so sorry to know that you all are suffering this way. I thought he was as you say being lazy and not taking care of hygiene until I discovered he stated that it was in his groin area, under armpits, back as well. On behalf of all of us that are family members mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends…..FORGIVE US!!!!!! PLEASE!!! We had no idea. He does not have insurance and I’ve been trying to get him to get government assistance to get under a doctor care. The other nite a new on expanded about the size of a golf ball in his head and I told him to get a warm towel and we went into the bathroom and he slightly pressed it and it gushed and ran out like out from another whole that was in his head like we had bust a water balloon and it flatten down. 2 days it was puff back up and he has been doing this regimen to keep it down. I applied the Paroxide and cleaned it with the hospital cleaning can’t call the name right now(the brown color sanitizer). He stated that he was going to go to the county today and try to get a gold card from Harris County so he can get under a doctor care. May the Lord Bless my son and all of YOU coping with this condition. May he send you the HOLY SPIRIT as a comforter to comfort you in your time of need. I pray and intercede on your behalf that he gives you the strength and faith to stay strong and know that God is a HEALER. You ask me how I know??? I was diagnosed with a 10 cm tumor in my right breast 2013 feb. and was healed 2014 Nov. So know if God doesn’t heal you his grace is sufficient. AMEN….. I hope and pray that a cure will come to past. Trusting and believing. KEEP THE FAITH !!!!!!
    Love you all
    A MOTHERS HUG

  19. Hi my name is Helen, and i have HS most my life. I have a terrible lesion under my right arm pit. It is the size of a human eye n nearly the shape of it.
    I keep putting bandaids on it as it stinks n sticky when leaks. I just can’t handle it is why I bandaid it. I am currently taking spiractin 100mg and also on Doxycylin 50mg. I feel its doing nothing at all for it. I was on Roacatane bout 4yrs ago. The side effects of Roacatane is unbelievable. While being on that every HS i had on y body was at bay. Now i have this eye shape thing, which makes it impossible to date to even wear some clothes. Like all us others that suffers HS it has taken our lives from us as in dating, working etc.i just want my body and life back, as i didnt have depression till this took over. As you know those that suffer it can get it in the groin and of course so did i…I feel i have to live with the fact of bandaids everyday on it, which is not fair for me and the rest of my life. i am 54now. I am over it can someone help please…thank you 4 listening Helen ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  20. Hello!

    I wanted to share on here that I have HS and apparently had it for over 23 years;
    however, I was only diagnosed in 2013 but the dermatologist failed to tell so I went
    another years not knowing what exactly was wrong with me. For years I was told I
    was too fat, to shower more often as it was my hygiene ( I always shower twice a day)!

    I’ve had 6 ops so far; 3 in the last 7 months to cut and drain 4 episodes. I feel emotional, alone, embarrassed, am constantly tired, my confidence is zero, my
    desire to do anything has gone to nill and the pain (oh damn!)…

    Awkwardness and embarrassment stopped me from ever telling anyone – including
    my husband, mother and immediate family.

    I have been stolen by HS!

    I have previously had it in my armpits, breasts, side, belly, abdomen and currently
    have reoccurrences in my groin; I’ve had 9 episodes in one go and currently have
    2 on previously drained sites.

    Still, I’m lucky as there are others far worse than me.

    Stay strong everyone and remain positive…raise awareness, make people aware!

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